Warning: This is a Finance Post

Yes, your eyes will surely glaze over, but here we go. Just a little FYI: Did anyone tell you we are in a full blown financial crisis. No, good, let me.

Background: We've had 25 years of massive, and I mean massive credit expansion, a raging bull market starting in roughly 1980 that went parabolic in '95 and is now reversing hard, unwinding in a major way.

What has prompted me to actually start writing about it is that we have people making it worse, thinking they're making it better. Barry Ritholtz explains it best here: If this fucking link doesn't work, Google his latest Seeking Alpha piece (Fed Fiddles as Rome Burns).

Anywells, our "officials" are now trying to somehow short circuit the short sellers, which prompted a massive rally today in the worst companies on the board -the banks. I can't go into how ridiculous this is, other than to say: government intervention rallies based on ending short selling are to be sold short, preferably naked.

And yes, "naked shorting" is actually a (great) finance term, Yeah, we're talking stocks here, I warned you already about that, did you look at the title? That said if you are sitting at home and decide to buy Puts with no pants on, more power to you. And if you're standing nude in the middle of your trading floor, you are way too cool to be reading this blog.

So the question is: do you want the band-aid off fast or would you like it to take 8 fucking years. We've chosen the latter, so guess what, you cannot be long stocks or buy a house for any reason other than wanting to light hundred dollar bills on fire until around 2012 which I think is when the world ends anyway.

Here it is. We need the market to clear. That means we need the indexes down hard, we need several of the dumbest banks to fail, we need Paul Volcker to come in and jack rates, end inflation and sure up the plummeting dollar.

The guys in charge now are so compromised, so lacking in credibility, yet they keep tinkering around trying to plug holes where there are none, because guess what?

THERE'S NO MORE DAM, it's gone baby gone, you (we) are so under water, and messing around with short sellers, trying to bail out another I-bank, socializing risk is both prolonging the pain and making it worse.

But they will continue to take asinine steps like they did today because it's in their DNA. It's the strand known as the: Let's Keep Fucking Around With This Hand-Grenade Gene.

So tinker on, play politics, help out your idiot banker friends, you might get few hundred more points, maybe even a thousand, hell anything's possible, you may even get another bubble. Tinker on my friends, you cannot help yourselves, I know.

But, one thing is certain. This tinkering. . .will end in tears.

Alive Sushumnas, Alive!! or Ecstatic Dance 101

It has been many days since my last confession.

My apologies, I have been very busy doing nothing, especially with the Solstice festivities this weekend, a literal 24-3 of yoga and YRA (yoga-related-activity) peaking on Saturday night with ecstatic dance and the potent reishi mushroom elixir that alivens one's sushumnas.

The reishi mushroom elixir is a non-hallucinogenic compound thought to have magical powers and I was told it makes one's sushumnas fucking explode!

Now let me tell you this, I have no clue what sushumnas are, but yes, I was alivened! And also let me state that "aliven" may or may not be a word. But I like it, so let's go with it. Let me also say that "sushumnas" is in fact a word. I know this because wikipedia only prints facts.

Ecstatic dance is just letting go, going wild. It's not like dancing at a club where you're trying to be hot/ cool or whatever, it's about alivening the sushumnas, and dropping all that pretense. And it's about going back and forth between self-consciousness and pure consciousness, and noticing all that, and being okay with it. No moves, no booze, just abandon.

And of course, the more you let go, the more you give up, the cooler you end up being.

I have a new guitar. I'm learning chord progressions. Wonderfully humbling.

My trading has been lights out, but f-ck that, I know it bores you to near-death, and it can unravel any time. I'm understanding now more than ever, trading is mostly luck, and about managing luck rather than any half-assed analysis -talk about busy nothing. Plus, bearishness makes awful copy, so enough already.

Sushumnas alive!!

Love and so much gratitude for your time!

-yt

Bringing Ed Grimley Back

Just received a lovely note from an old friend reminding me what a great Ed Grimley I was in the eighth grade. You see, back then, I had many Grimley tendencies.

And to be totally honest with you (for once in my g-ddamn life) I've never felt so Grimley-esque as I do right here, right now.

You see, as a fully formed adult, I'm beginning to resemble Grimley more than ever.

She completely made my night, and I have not been able to stop thinking about Grimley since.

During these tumultuous times, the world needs more Grimley.

So, in honor of her and Barack Obama's victory, I am bringing Ed Grimley back.

Full force.

-yt

The Email Part 1

This is a real email-string between myself and my best friend from back east. This was a private conversation until now. Neither one of us knew it would be published at the time. Basically the gist is; I'm an Obama supporter, he's not, and we're both obviously racist. Although highly offensive, it is so funny and topical, I needed to share it. My friend's comments are in bold, mine in regular font, it is completely unedited and like 50 emails long, this is part 1.

He starts the string with the funniest email title ever.

(him) Title: I'm scared of this black dude -- Obama..


(me) well at least your finally being honest for christ!

laughing out loud.

it's okay, all my east coast guy friends are basically racist, it's in the water, we're all racist to a certain extent, sometimes it's common sense, big black mofo comes at you in an alley, you're prob not thinking this guy wants to give me a cookie. . .

anyway, know this, we're dinosaurs.

biggest concern on this end. this guy might get shot. kennedys, lennon, reagan, etc.

great honesty though.


easy does it on being racist.. I agree with your common sense example.. though a cookie does sound nice right about now..

I'm scared of this guy's policies just as I'm concerned with Hill's policies.. that is what I'm scared of.. you probably already knew that..

I couldn't agree with you more about this guy getting shot.. that would be terrible and rewind this country back 20-30 years in respect to race relations..

what are you going to have for lunch? me - 2 slices of pizza -- cheese.. heaven..


what, what i say? what's wrong with being a little bit racist?

hey, last week he was too vague, today scary policy. which is it sean hannity?

i have no prob w/ mccain. at least he is honest about having no understanding of basic economics, hence the tax cut on inelastic oil supply, yielding no price change, made sense to him.

at least he will counter-act the OPEC terrorist funding by bombing the shit out of iran.

as for obama, he received more $$ from hedge funds and wall street than the other 2 combined, so he's plenty biz friendly. cap gains tax raise won't happen, market is too f-cked w/ credit issues through 09'.

truth is, we do need tax revenue unless we bag social security/ medicare. i'd love to supply side them both into the abyss, but our parents and all the f--king boomers would be pretty upset.

as for other policy, he's so f-ing vague, i don't know what your talking about, unless his decidedly anti-gay marriage stance.

but yeah, generally, black guys are scary.

romney 08'.


Al Sharpton will be Sec. of Defense & J. Jackson will be his Sec. of State!! Those mother fuckers will have their hands out -- as they should..

Which is it you ask? Both. I'm scared that I know so little about this guy - I'm scared that he is going to have a special on Kool Cigarites and Mad Dog 20/20..

I agree, we do need tax revenue - more has been going out for awhile now and that needs to change...

My real is issue is this - ready for it.. it may not make much sense.. but here it is.. Deval Patrick - a black man - ran on Change - Change - Change -- I'm not saying he is wrong about it -- he is right -- Change is a good thing.. but when you follow up with Nothing Nothing Nothing -- I can't fucking stand that -- I see the same thing with Obama and I hope I'm wrong if he wins the whole shooting match.. everyone that is behind is for change - I like it & I can get around it -- but what I can't get around is what you have underneath this change you are talking about & I'm afraid this guy will not have the juice to get anything done.. Just like my friend for Mass. Gov. Deval Patrick.. who, so far is the worst fucking Governor Mass. has had since Jane Swift..

I guess I'm tired of the whole thing and could really give two fucking Morrissey's shits of who wins.. I wish Jeb Bush would have ran --


that was amazingly funny! best one in a long time.

yeah, it mostly makes me sick too, the whole thing, why is this brother bowling, stick to hoops, track and field events, and the like.

when will we get a strong male morrissey like figure in charge?

Mr. T as Sec of Muthafucking Defense!


Mr. T was the best.. Big Guy had a Mr. T's starter kit.. man that guy with his gold & tight jeans.. phew..


Does the fact that Ellen Degeneres soul sister, Melissa Etheridge, has joined Team-Black-Guy in a official capacity strengthen your desires, or weaken them.

now, based on your calculus:

D. Patrick = B. Obama = MC Hammer

How would you feel about a Condoleeza Rice/ Barney Frank ticket?

Please advise.


It is with mixed emotions when I heard the news about ED joining Team Black. I'm still searching without success for re-runs of her show.. She was a great book store owner..

How would I feel about that ticket? I'd fucking puke everyday of their administration if they were elected.. (though I do like Condi)


so it's safe to say the only ticket you would support is of the Anglo/ Euro 97' nature:

Silvio Berlosconi/ Jaques Chirac/ Gerhard Schroder/ Dominique Villapin/ Tony Blair . . .

okay, how bout this one?:

Putin

I'd vote for Condi in a NY minute. And Frank seems to be the most powerful guy in Congress, no joke, he's driving policy.

Pile-driving it.


I agree - Frank has what it takes to get things done..

Putin & 8 more years of GW -- What a ticket!!


To be continued. . .

Obamaspam

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Yoga-Related-Activity

Never have I been so busy doing nothing.

Well that's not true, completely false actually. At the old Investment Bank, it was mandated: "every employee must be busy doing nothing from 6 AM to 6 PM Mon-Fri, and half-days of busy nothing on weekends, to be signed off by their respective middle-manager, managing nothing, busily."

Last check, they were still in business, although doing less of nothing than ever.

So, as hard as I try, I will never be able to keep up that tempo, but here in LA, the yoga mecca, I am able to maintain a 7 day per week, 12 hour day of yoga and yoga-related-activity.

Yoga and Yoga-Related-Activity (YRA) consists of:

meditation (1 hour)
classes (2-3 hrs)
bodywork/ massage (2 hrs)
spa (1 hr)
teaching/ assisting/ volunteering (2 hrs)
herbal tea sipping (1 hr)
vegan cooking (1 hr)
talking about yoga (1 hr)
downloading yoga music (10 minutes)
yoga Internets/ yoga blog (15 minutes)
riding yoga bicycle to and fro (1-2 hrs)

This can all be done for about $200 a month (without being paid for any yoga services). Amazing.

*In response to the anger mail I received regarding last week's Obama Muthafucka piece, I will be blogging politically now, nonstop thru the election.

Today, I'm still nauseous from the gas tax holiday. It's been over a week, but I keep throwing up.

When I recover, it's on.

-yt

Can We Elect This Obama Muthaf-cka, Already!

JFC!

This is not a political blog btw, but what the f-ck, let's get this muthaf-cka done, already. I'd love to say I'd vote for Hil, but the b-tch put bin Laden in a muthaf-cking TV commercial. F-ck!

And no, I'm not sexist.

I'm f-cking RACIST against white people. That's f-cking right.

Okay, that's bullsh-t. I f-cking love white people. Some of my immediate family is white. I practice yoga and read the New York Times. I'm f-cking vegetarian for Christ's sake. I'm surrounded by white people 24-7. It's f-cking heaven.

But Hil is running like it's 1999, lowest-common-denominator pitch, dumb-ass focus grouping, low road express (although love that Carville guy), rocking Celine Dion (okay, low blow), tri-angulating (although love that Bill Jefferson mutha-fucka!), and never, ever, ever, ever, giving up (f-cking Terminator, give her credit).

It's 2008 B-tch!

Obama says sh-t almost like he's NOT talking to a f-cking 8 year-old. No one's ever heard a political guy talk like this. We can't f-cking believe it. Muthaf-cka quotes Jay Z.

Hey, fair and balanced, McCain is a bad-ass mutha-f-cka, and come election day, if we need to bomb the sh-t out of some f-cking villages, he's my f-cking gangsta.

So in review: Hil = Terminator, McCain = Gangsta, Obama = Next President, This Blog = DEF NOT POLITICAL EVER AGAIN, so leave me alone, already.

*Apologies to Celine Dion fans, and apologies to Clinton 08' supporters, and apologies to those over 70 that were offended (who are all likely the same person).

**Apologies for excessive MUTHAFUCKA usage.

Thank You,
Dr. Evil