A 4 year old girl round-housed me in the groin yesterday marking my last week at the School. Other than that little anecdote, I'm beginning to feel that my time spent here www.nirvanaschool.org is kind of private. Suffice it to say that it was one of the miracles of my (not so) young life and I am forever grateful to Vinu Masi and the children for allowing me to spend some time here.
Tomorrow, I bus to Bangalore for yet another LA yoga retreat -for symmetry. As difficult as this journey has been, the thousand acts of letting go it entailed, I am constantly being presented with material evidence of it's perfection.
Such that my India voyage began with a bunch of LA yogis, so it will also end, albeit totally unplanned. The space between seems like a lifetime. The space between WAS a small lifetime -mostly difficult, scary, arduous, even tedious and boring at times, yet also ecstatic, ridiculous, blissful and hysterically funny.
I didn't come here to "find myself", or find a guru, or to sit under a banyan tree. I came here to right some Accounts, so to speak, to balance out some credits and debits. Of course, the journey is ongoing, but I could leave here today feeling complete.
Lucky me though, I get to go see my teacher and friends in Bangalore first, then a bit of time in Pune to visit some old, new friends, and finally Bombay to LA baby. I keep saying this, but I'm the luckiest dude in the world. Om Namah Shivaya.
Gratitude Attitude,
yt
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Friday, February 1, 2008
Indian Love Letter
How do I reconcile my sometimes utter disgust with India, with the fact that I am having the greatest time of my life. . .???
I've had a fun time on this board ripping certain aspects of Indian life, and my rippings were always authentic, as in I was authentically disgusted. However, I'm kind of done with all that now. I mean there it is, I just can't trash a place that has in 11 weeks given me 11 years worth of love: unconditional, familial, brotherly, self, romantic, and any other kind of love I can think of.
I've been witness to many amazing people doing God's work here. Instead of going to Cancun 3x in a row like I did, I see college kids coming here and working at schools, hospitals or battered women's shelters. I see retirees coming here, going direct into the village and literally saving lives with their retirement savings. I see Indian small business owners working diligently through insane government corruption.
I see social entrepreneurs doing the seemingly possible, until you find that it's impossible (This sentence makes sense if you've been here). I see Indian women outworking everyone in the least functional clothing ever made -the sari. I see all kinds of Westerners, all over the place helping out, finding true enlightenment in the village, not in the ashram.
I hated India in November. In December it became tolerable. And January was the best start of a year I've ever had. It has never been easy, even now, but maybe that's the reconciliation. After leaving my job and just trying to make my life easy for a while, maybe I need a bit of challenge in my life to keep things interesting.
So, I can't believe I'm saying this but. . .
India, I love you.
Holy Sh-t.
-yt
I've had a fun time on this board ripping certain aspects of Indian life, and my rippings were always authentic, as in I was authentically disgusted. However, I'm kind of done with all that now. I mean there it is, I just can't trash a place that has in 11 weeks given me 11 years worth of love: unconditional, familial, brotherly, self, romantic, and any other kind of love I can think of.
I've been witness to many amazing people doing God's work here. Instead of going to Cancun 3x in a row like I did, I see college kids coming here and working at schools, hospitals or battered women's shelters. I see retirees coming here, going direct into the village and literally saving lives with their retirement savings. I see Indian small business owners working diligently through insane government corruption.
I see social entrepreneurs doing the seemingly possible, until you find that it's impossible (This sentence makes sense if you've been here). I see Indian women outworking everyone in the least functional clothing ever made -the sari. I see all kinds of Westerners, all over the place helping out, finding true enlightenment in the village, not in the ashram.
I hated India in November. In December it became tolerable. And January was the best start of a year I've ever had. It has never been easy, even now, but maybe that's the reconciliation. After leaving my job and just trying to make my life easy for a while, maybe I need a bit of challenge in my life to keep things interesting.
So, I can't believe I'm saying this but. . .
India, I love you.
Holy Sh-t.
-yt
Thursday, January 24, 2008
"Indian Water Park" or "Dead Dog"
The Indian Water Park was awesome. All women in full clothing (saris) in the wave pool, all men with shorts and tee-shirts, all kids nude. The water slides were top shelf. Not in a million years would they pass inspection in the US, so they rocked. I'm sure someone, at some point, has or will rocket-ship off the lip propelling themselves 100 ft through the air, hopefully in the direction of the pool.
The rides were even better. When the door fell off one of them midway, they stopped the ride, pulled the crying kid off, and then let us finish. The roller coaster I can only describe as boring yet somehow physically painful. The best part of all the rides was you were in complete control of your safety bar. If you decided you didn't need it, and who really does these days, you could go bareback. . .
It was so authentic though, and so family-oriented. And the food at the canteen was the best ever -family style, 2 kinds of rice. It was hot as India, so clothes on in the pool -none of us cared, plus we were the only Westerners, so much respek to the IWP.
On a lighter note: I had a little white puppy that I was taking care of at night in my cement block. He was beaten I believe, and had a tough life during the day. But I was feeding it and trying to train it a bit when I got home late at night. He urinated on the floor as I fed him, so that's something, right??
Anyway, while I was at school the other day he go hit by a car for the second time, and it was over. Life is cheap here, and dogs are treated like rats or cockroaches (which I also live with).
The woman and her daughter who had been caring for it were crushed. That said, cute puppies are not a priority here. I'm not sure how I feel about it right now. I mean of course I'm very sad, and also mad, and yet also just accepting of it. You're frame of reference completely shifts here.
Been kind of sick again, and lost my voice for the first time yesterday. It was fantastic. I gave my best yoga class ever. Just shut-up and practice. Time is flying, what with the Thunderbolt and all that. So yeah, I'm having the time of my life.
More Love Than Ever,
yt
The rides were even better. When the door fell off one of them midway, they stopped the ride, pulled the crying kid off, and then let us finish. The roller coaster I can only describe as boring yet somehow physically painful. The best part of all the rides was you were in complete control of your safety bar. If you decided you didn't need it, and who really does these days, you could go bareback. . .
It was so authentic though, and so family-oriented. And the food at the canteen was the best ever -family style, 2 kinds of rice. It was hot as India, so clothes on in the pool -none of us cared, plus we were the only Westerners, so much respek to the IWP.
On a lighter note: I had a little white puppy that I was taking care of at night in my cement block. He was beaten I believe, and had a tough life during the day. But I was feeding it and trying to train it a bit when I got home late at night. He urinated on the floor as I fed him, so that's something, right??
Anyway, while I was at school the other day he go hit by a car for the second time, and it was over. Life is cheap here, and dogs are treated like rats or cockroaches (which I also live with).
The woman and her daughter who had been caring for it were crushed. That said, cute puppies are not a priority here. I'm not sure how I feel about it right now. I mean of course I'm very sad, and also mad, and yet also just accepting of it. You're frame of reference completely shifts here.
Been kind of sick again, and lost my voice for the first time yesterday. It was fantastic. I gave my best yoga class ever. Just shut-up and practice. Time is flying, what with the Thunderbolt and all that. So yeah, I'm having the time of my life.
More Love Than Ever,
yt
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Wild Peeing or "I'm From Holland, Where da F--- You From?"
I'm now full-on living in the village in a 200 rupee ($5) cement block room including breakfast and laundry. I am able to urinate freely -which is priceless. I can pee directly out my door, or wander the fields, or pee in the backyard. I can even pee on my neighbor's house.
Prior to that, I had moved out of my city squalor, into the www.amaidi.org guesthouse with 5 girls from Holland. Dutch girls are here in full force. I really have no explanation why, nor do I need one. I'm gonna marry one of the girls in a couple years. I'll be 35, she'll be 21. Our maturities will be equal.
We had an Indian style fender bender, 3 of us on a scooter wipe out. Fortunately, I was on the very back and landed on top of 2 girls. These girls are tough. It's hard enough being a guy in India, but women are harassed nonstop. I'm completely blown away by their courage, not to mention the fact that they are also volunteers. Off the charts.
We're still at Nirvana School, about another month for me. I'm developing relationships with the kids and they continue to rock my world with their unending enthusiasm and unconditional love and appreciation.
I'm about the luckiest guy in the world.
-yt
Prior to that, I had moved out of my city squalor, into the www.amaidi.org guesthouse with 5 girls from Holland. Dutch girls are here in full force. I really have no explanation why, nor do I need one. I'm gonna marry one of the girls in a couple years. I'll be 35, she'll be 21. Our maturities will be equal.
We had an Indian style fender bender, 3 of us on a scooter wipe out. Fortunately, I was on the very back and landed on top of 2 girls. These girls are tough. It's hard enough being a guy in India, but women are harassed nonstop. I'm completely blown away by their courage, not to mention the fact that they are also volunteers. Off the charts.
We're still at Nirvana School, about another month for me. I'm developing relationships with the kids and they continue to rock my world with their unending enthusiasm and unconditional love and appreciation.
I'm about the luckiest guy in the world.
-yt
Friday, January 4, 2008
Vipassana
I arrived at ashram mid-cyclone. The road was flooded and my rickshaw would go no further, so I rolled up my trousers and started across the small river that had formed over the dirt road.
About half way, my left flip-flop was dislodged and headed down stream. "F---!!" I whispered. . . out loud. . . meditatively. I had no other shoes. So I trudged through the mud with my right flip-flop intact, left foot bare. It was my first act of letting go. . .letting go of the left flip-flop.
Vipassana is based on the Buddhist philosophy of "knowing" as in knowing in the body after intense practice. There's NO blind faith, NOR any ritual type bullsh--. And there's also NO blissed out, ecstatic, rays of light. . . at least not for me.
It's about being with what is (which is usually excruciating pain in your legs) and not reacting to it. Acting with equanimity -neither averse to pain, nor craving pleasure. It's about the laws of the universe such as impermanence and suffering via attachment, and understanding them in your body, not just your mind.
You feel an itch on your nose, and you sit still and let it dissipate, you feel two lightning bolts charge down your hamstrings and you're really hoping it passes away too, and guess what..??
It f---ing DOESN'T!!
But. . . it becomes less severe, and you can feel the waves of pain and of lesser pain vibrating through your body -just like the string theorists tell us. But it is not an intellectual exercise. It is embodiment -the difference between reading a book on baseball and taking 100,000 swings off live pitching.
It is also not all that fun. It's kind of like prison but with no talking, no eye contact, no reading, no writing, no cigarettes, and no gang rape, just 10+ hours of sitting meditation starting at the 4:00 AM bell and ending at 9:00 PM.
You have breaks of course, where you eat silently like monks from steel bowls, and walk the grounds like a mental patient. Because, quite frankly, for 10 days you are a monk and you are mental patient.
So would I recommend it. . .?
Absolutely, it will change you life. I realized this after making the trek back to Pondi, 3 hours by Indian bus and rickshaw. . .
Barefoot.
It was my last act of letting go. . . the right flip-flop.
Anicca, Anicca,
yt
About half way, my left flip-flop was dislodged and headed down stream. "F---!!" I whispered. . . out loud. . . meditatively. I had no other shoes. So I trudged through the mud with my right flip-flop intact, left foot bare. It was my first act of letting go. . .letting go of the left flip-flop.
Vipassana is based on the Buddhist philosophy of "knowing" as in knowing in the body after intense practice. There's NO blind faith, NOR any ritual type bullsh--. And there's also NO blissed out, ecstatic, rays of light. . . at least not for me.
It's about being with what is (which is usually excruciating pain in your legs) and not reacting to it. Acting with equanimity -neither averse to pain, nor craving pleasure. It's about the laws of the universe such as impermanence and suffering via attachment, and understanding them in your body, not just your mind.
You feel an itch on your nose, and you sit still and let it dissipate, you feel two lightning bolts charge down your hamstrings and you're really hoping it passes away too, and guess what..??
It f---ing DOESN'T!!
But. . . it becomes less severe, and you can feel the waves of pain and of lesser pain vibrating through your body -just like the string theorists tell us. But it is not an intellectual exercise. It is embodiment -the difference between reading a book on baseball and taking 100,000 swings off live pitching.
It is also not all that fun. It's kind of like prison but with no talking, no eye contact, no reading, no writing, no cigarettes, and no gang rape, just 10+ hours of sitting meditation starting at the 4:00 AM bell and ending at 9:00 PM.
You have breaks of course, where you eat silently like monks from steel bowls, and walk the grounds like a mental patient. Because, quite frankly, for 10 days you are a monk and you are mental patient.
So would I recommend it. . .?
Absolutely, it will change you life. I realized this after making the trek back to Pondi, 3 hours by Indian bus and rickshaw. . .
Barefoot.
It was my last act of letting go. . . the right flip-flop.
Anicca, Anicca,
yt
Monday, December 17, 2007
One Day in Pondy or Dead Cat
7:00 AM wake up to the voice of the Muezzin who calls Muslims to prayer. India is very mixed religiously, the majority Hindu, but w/ sizable Muslim and Christian minorities. There is nothing like this call. It is a beautiful, haunting wailing filled w/ an otherworldly heartache. I really can't describe it. Truly amazing.
I get ready in my very basic $7 room. "Very basic" is European/ Australian code for disgusting. My first night there, I was like, I'm outta here, but day by day, week by week, I'm getting over myself and my American expectations and learning to deal with what is. I also have this need to live in squalor for now, to just really be in it. I also know that my students at Nirvana School would find it luxurious having a whole room to myself.
8:00 walk to bus stop pass Ganesha Temple, live elephant blessings and all that. Take school bus to village outside of Pondy -nonstop horns blasting throughout commute, the auto horn is used in reverse from the way it is used in West. It is a courtesy, saying "heads up please, here I am please, thank you please." I'm starting to hear the order underneath the chaos.
The Indians also dump all their garbage just wherever, out on the street, or in a field, so about 50 meters from the school in the usual garbage heap, I see it. That's right. . . Dead cat. Just when your getting all comfortable, dead cat. Awesome.
9:00 - 4:30 school day. The mornings I observe first period, mostly disrupt class like I did in '82 -nothing's changed. Then I take a few students at a time to the library and we practice English reading and writing. They all speak Tamil which has absolutely nothing to do w/ English, so it's challenging work, but the kids are simply love embodied.
For lunch, the HeadMaster Aunti Massi cooks me a full on Indian Meal, kicheri, rice, potato, dal, naan, the best meals ever. She has been running the school for 12+ years for free -she is a real deal Mother Theresa. After lunch I take a nap. Then back to school for a couple hours, then teach the yoga class, then back on the bus.
At night I go to Coffee.Com a beautiful family run joint where I hang out w/ Euros, most all involved in some type of development work or study. It's a beautiful crowd, inside and out. I'm typing from one of their laptops right now -a Mac none the less!! It's like another planet in here.
I told Auntie Massi today, that every day I go to her school even if I do nothing but play w/ the kids all day, I feel like I become a better person.
Not a bad gig.
Going to Vipassana (10 day silent meditation retreat) over holiday break. So, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Blessed New Year to All.
I love you, all out!!
Blessings,
yt
I get ready in my very basic $7 room. "Very basic" is European/ Australian code for disgusting. My first night there, I was like, I'm outta here, but day by day, week by week, I'm getting over myself and my American expectations and learning to deal with what is. I also have this need to live in squalor for now, to just really be in it. I also know that my students at Nirvana School would find it luxurious having a whole room to myself.
8:00 walk to bus stop pass Ganesha Temple, live elephant blessings and all that. Take school bus to village outside of Pondy -nonstop horns blasting throughout commute, the auto horn is used in reverse from the way it is used in West. It is a courtesy, saying "heads up please, here I am please, thank you please." I'm starting to hear the order underneath the chaos.
The Indians also dump all their garbage just wherever, out on the street, or in a field, so about 50 meters from the school in the usual garbage heap, I see it. That's right. . . Dead cat. Just when your getting all comfortable, dead cat. Awesome.
9:00 - 4:30 school day. The mornings I observe first period, mostly disrupt class like I did in '82 -nothing's changed. Then I take a few students at a time to the library and we practice English reading and writing. They all speak Tamil which has absolutely nothing to do w/ English, so it's challenging work, but the kids are simply love embodied.
For lunch, the HeadMaster Aunti Massi cooks me a full on Indian Meal, kicheri, rice, potato, dal, naan, the best meals ever. She has been running the school for 12+ years for free -she is a real deal Mother Theresa. After lunch I take a nap. Then back to school for a couple hours, then teach the yoga class, then back on the bus.
At night I go to Coffee.Com a beautiful family run joint where I hang out w/ Euros, most all involved in some type of development work or study. It's a beautiful crowd, inside and out. I'm typing from one of their laptops right now -a Mac none the less!! It's like another planet in here.
I told Auntie Massi today, that every day I go to her school even if I do nothing but play w/ the kids all day, I feel like I become a better person.
Not a bad gig.
Going to Vipassana (10 day silent meditation retreat) over holiday break. So, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Blessed New Year to All.
I love you, all out!!
Blessings,
yt
Friday, December 7, 2007
Yoga Class 3:45 Tues, Wed, Thurs
The yoga class is totally awesome. It's twenty 5-10 year olds w/ limited English and unlimited enthusiasm. So we go bananas every Tues, Wed, Thurs at 3:45.
Yesterday one of my students got hurt. Nice job, I know. I have no control over them, zero, but they go all out, full on, trying the poses, and I love them for that.
During "yoga dance", he either fell or was pushed on the concrete floor where we practice.
He's on the floor crying, I start screaming "ahemsa (nonviolence)!! ahemsa!! ahemsa!!!
That got a big laugh, albeit completely unintentional.
Anyway, he was crying for like an hour, and needed ice, but of course no ice in India, so he suffered bravely, still crying when I left, and no joke I was relieved to see him alive this morning.
As I walk through town to the bus, an enormous elephant (Ganesha) blesses women in front of temple w/ her trunk, and baboons chill on the sidewalk next to a dying human.
Still not quite over that dying human in the street thing.
But it's only been three weeks. . .
much love,
yt
Yesterday one of my students got hurt. Nice job, I know. I have no control over them, zero, but they go all out, full on, trying the poses, and I love them for that.
During "yoga dance", he either fell or was pushed on the concrete floor where we practice.
He's on the floor crying, I start screaming "ahemsa (nonviolence)!! ahemsa!! ahemsa!!!
That got a big laugh, albeit completely unintentional.
Anyway, he was crying for like an hour, and needed ice, but of course no ice in India, so he suffered bravely, still crying when I left, and no joke I was relieved to see him alive this morning.
As I walk through town to the bus, an enormous elephant (Ganesha) blesses women in front of temple w/ her trunk, and baboons chill on the sidewalk next to a dying human.
Still not quite over that dying human in the street thing.
But it's only been three weeks. . .
much love,
yt
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