Greatest trip ever to NYC. Went to several insane parties which is what you do in New York, did you forget? NYC is a bit less crowded, a lot more Euro, and for a second I thought it had lost it's edge.But, I was re-enlightened when I saw an obese drunk gentleman in a rubber batman mask getting a solid beat-down by like a 60 year bar owner on Second Avenue. It was noon.
But enough violence, I wanna talk about 3 parties in particular.
Perhaps, most surprising to you is that election eve, I was at a Republican rally in suburban New Jersey. That's right, you heard me, Republican rally mutha-fucka!
It gets better.
One of my best bro-dogs, ran and won a City Council Seat as a Repub, and get this, I phone banked for him all day Monday, that's right, I was cold calling Sarah Palin fans all day. Awesome.
I'm bipartisan. Fuck off.
Okay, stop crying, on election day of course, I was at the Obama party in NYC Obama headquarters, which you might guess is in Harlem. That guess would be totally wrong, it's in Park Slope, Brooklyn, whitest place on earth. And yes, I did just make that up (not the white part, the HQ part).
Finally, and least surprising, I was at an awesome apolitical Halloween Party where the guests ranged from Ron Paul Stock Traders, to Ralph Nader Vegans, to Tyler Durden Nihilists, to mostly Not Giving a Fuck Americans.
Awesome parties all. And as an American, I want to rank them.
Whitest: Obama Party (landslide)
Most Diverse: Tyler Durden Party followed closely by the Repub Party
Most People There For the Free Food Only: Repub Party
Most Police: Repub Party
Most Criminals: Durden Party
Best Costumes: 3 way tie, yet only the Durden Party was intentionally for Halloween. The Obama Party beautifully decked as West Wing circa 1996. The Repub Party meticulously garbed as Joe The Plumber circa 2008.
Happiest: Durden Party
So this is officially the greatest country in the world. Where Firemen, EMTs and people that actually save people's lives in real life vote Republican, and the whitest people on earth go Democrat, and the best party of all is run by Tyler Durden.
An amazing time, an amazing place.
God bless America. Gobama, get going.
And. . . We're BACK, baby!! USA! USA! USA!!
